Etched In Stone

On 8/8/88 I was 13 years old, and I went to my weekly tennis lesson on one of the hottest days of the year. When I came home, my mom sat me down to let me know that my grandma had taken her sister, Margaret, to lunch to celebrate Margaret’s birthday. On the drive home, Grandma had driven off onto the shoulder and passed away at the wheel. She had a massive heart attack. Great Aunt Margaret was unharmed, but traumatized. I was devastated.

My Grandma was amazing. Also, how terrible for Aunt Margaret, to lose her sister/best friend on her birthday. Somehow over the years, the details became fuzzy for me, and the part about it being Aunt Margaret’s birthday slipped my mind.

Fast forward to October of 2013, when I lost my sister/best friend on my (39th) birthday. I struggled with her death, of course, but also with how to deal with the worst and most traumatic day of my life also being my birthday.

I went to visit my sister’s grave, as I often do. But I also went to see my dad, my grandparents, and my Aunt Margaret, at a different area of the cemetery. It was then, looking at the dates on the headstones that I realized/remembered Grandma and Aunt Margaret share a date on their headstones: Grandma’s death date of 8/8 was also Aunt Margaret’s birthdate. I suddenly thought: they were so close they even share a date on their headstones.

Then I realized this applies to my sister and me as well. We are linked by a date. We were so close that her death date 10/28 and my birth date 10/28 will be etched in stone to link us forever. This thought always comforts me, it’s hard to explain why that helped me, but it did. So today, 8/8, I want to remember the unbreakable bond of sisters, and that sometimes it is etched in stone for eternity.

Thanks, Grandma and Aunt Margaret, for being a beautiful example of sisterhood to show us the way.