A Lesson I Have To Keep Learning

I took the month of July off from running, and exercise of any kind. I had a lot going on so I focused on other things. Instead of running, I trained for the Olympic Junk-Food Eating Team and spent way too much time on the couch.

I should know myself better than this by now. When I started to feel anxious, short-tempered, fearful about…lots of things, I just thought “Well, it’s to be expected, it’s been a very stressful month.” And it definitely has been a stressful month, BUT, for me, my mental health suffers when I’m not getting regular physical activity. I can feel myself spiraling down into anxiousness, crankiness, even sadness.

I admitted my husband a few days ago that every morning now I was waking up in a panic. The panic was about something different each day, and they were all situations I would normally be able to break down into steps and work through. Each everyday obstacle felt BIG and SCARY. It was even to the point that I was anxious and fearful about returning to running itself. I was thinking “What if I can’t run? What if it feels awful? What if I’m just not a person who can do that anymore?” I had to really force myself to try it with the promise that I could go as slow as I needed to and I would only run one mile.

It took until only about 3 minutes into my first return to running this morning that I started to remember why I go running in the first place. My mind started to clear. I could have actual thoughts beyond my carefully maintained lists of What I’m Worried About Today. I relaxed, looked around, enjoyed my music, and I ran 3 miles.

I know myself. I know that my body and mind cannot function as well when I’m not being physically active. So I’m writing this to remind myself that if I think taking an extended break from working out is not going to be some kind of fun and relaxing “vacation”. It will feel that way at first, but it comes at a high price to my mental health.

I just simply have to keep listening to what my body needs and taking care of it.

Tell me in the comments if there is a lesson you have to just keep relearning because you stubbornly refuse to believe it the first 765 times you’ve learned it!